5 Tips on Engagement Ring Etiquette

Thinking about asking your beloved to marry you? If it’s your first time, you might be wondering about engagement ring etiquette. Even though engagements can be pretty casual these days, there’s still a long tradition of engagement etiquette that some people might want to follow. Here are some tips on some proper behaviour related to engagements and engagement rings.

1. How much should the ring cost?

Not everyone has the same budget, of course. Etiquette says that an engagement ring should cost about 3 months’ worth of the man’s salary. However, it really is a matter of taste and budget: some partners may be happy with a smaller ring. After all, true love should not really have a price and we’ve seen women happy to receive a simple silver band as an engagement ring. As long as it expresses your love and shows a significant commitment (budgetary or otherwise), any ring will work!

2. Can you choose it together?

Of course. There’s no reason why the marriage proposal has to be accompanied by a ring. If you absolutely want to buy your beloved an engagement ring, it’s perfectly okay to visit the jeweller together and choose a ring that will fit your budget and that your partner will like. And it’s also okay to share the cost if your partner insists. It’s a bit frowned upon for the woman to buy all the rings, but if everyone pitches in, it’s more acceptable.

3. Does the man have to wear a ring?
Traditionally, only the woman wears an engagement ring, but again in these liberated times some men might also want to show their betrothal with a ring. Same-sex couples can also go the traditional way (the askee wears a ring and the asker doesn’t) or both can sport an engagement ring. It’s always good to discuss these things when considering an official engagement.

4. What if the engagement breaks off?
This is one of the trickiest points of etiquette related to engagement rings. It usually depends on who breaks off the engagement and where the ring comes from. For a heirloom ring, it should be given back to the owning family, no matter who breaks off the engagement. Heirlooms are important symbolic objects and should not be kept by a woman (or man) with no intention of joining the family. If the man breaks off the engagement, it is acceptable for the woman to keep the ring. If the woman breaks it off, the man can ask for its return and the woman should give it back. Making provisions about the ring (especially if it has high value) in the prenuptial agreement can prevent many problems.

5. Should she wear the ring after the wedding?
Congratulations! You are now married. Some women wear both rings during the entire length of the marriage, while others simply keep the engagement ring in their jewellery box and wear only the wedding band. It’s a matter of personal choice these days, and unless your family is very conservative, just do what feels right to you.

Thinking about flowers, venue, catering and wedding bands can be overwhelming, but getting the engagement ring right will definitely give a good start to your marital life.