Nov 23, 2019

How to Achieve Emotional Sobriety

If you are in early recovery, you may have heard old-timers going on about “emotional sobriety”. When we first get sober, we often have the misconception that recovery is just about being physically separated from drugs and alcohol. As time goes on, we begin to understand that the substances we used were only a mere symptom of our substance abuse disorder. We used in order to numb our feelings, emotions, and attitudes upon life and our fellows. Becoming fully recovered entails correcting negative behaviors and patterns of thinking. We have to develop emotional sobriety in order to fully remove the desire to drink or use drugs.
What is emotional sobriety? 

Emotional sobriety is defined by your emotional wellbeing and your ability to regulate your own emotions after becoming free from alcohol and/or drugs. In order to make meaningful changes in your life and relationships, it is vital that you work to treat the mental symptoms of your addiction. It is often said that addicts and alcoholics are “restless, irritable, and discontented”. In order for us to create and manifest true recovery, we must overcome our personality difficulties.

Bill W., the founder of Alcoholics Anonymous describes emotional sobriety best,

How shall our unconscious—from which so many of our fears, compulsions, and phony aspirations still stream—be brought into line with what we actually believe, know and want! How to convince our dumb, raging and hidden “Mr. Hyde” becomes our main task.”

Why is emotional sobriety vital?

When you are only physically sober, rather than both physically and emotionally sober, you will still be affected by distressing situations that you are incapable of resolving. Emotional sobriety is vital to long-term recovery, as it allows you to navigate triggers and emotions that once caused you to get high or drunk.

Emotional regulation skills

Before we get sober, our main issue is usually that we don’t know how to identify or regulate our emotions. Once we remove the drugs and alcohol, we are left with nothing to calm or soothe the negative emotions that will crop up. Learning how to regulate your emotions is a huge part of being emotionally sober. In sobriety, many people utilize therapy or 12-step fellowship meetings in order to learn the skills required to regulate their emotions.

Learning acceptance

Often, we come into recovery with a surplus of unresolved trauma. The barrier between us recovering from trauma tends to be our unwillingness to accept the reality of our past. When we become emotionally sober, we have worked on radical acceptance, which is a tool used to accept negative circumstances that we cannot change. Once we are able to accept the reality of something, it makes it much easier for us to work through the issue and move forward. Also, making it a practice to accept all of your emotions as valid will allow you to work through them properly; resulting in emotional sobriety.

Preventing relapse from occurring

Once you take drugs and alcohol out of the equation, it is vital to learn how to behave differently. If you are still stuck in the cycles of your old behavior, relapse is inevitable. To prevent relapsing, developing emotional sobriety is key. In order to do this, it is important to work through any traumas, develop mental stability, and learn how to work through your negative emotions in a healthy manner.

Author Bio:
Maya Kelley is an upcoming writer in the recovery community. She is passionate about working to break stigmas in relation to mental illness, addiction, and trauma.

Nov 21, 2019

What can you do if your property possession has been delayed?

A new home or apartment or flat brings a bundle of joy. It is dream come true for most families. However, that can soon turn into a never ending despair if the property is not handed over in the promised time. As a customer most of us often find us at a loss as to what steps to take to ensure that the property possession happens within a stipulated time and is not further delayed. Even though you might feel like you are about to enter a really ugly legal battle with the real estate developer, fact is that the situation is not so glum and desperate as it seems.
Here is a list of the things that you need to do immediately if your property possession is being delayed by the real estate developer.

Claim for compensation: This is absolutely within your rights if the developer is taking more time than promised to complete construction and delaying the delivery of the property. You can ask for compensation and as the buyer of the property you have the legal right to do so. However, it is always advisable to include the compensation clause in the agreement at the beginning so as not to create any undue harassment.

Seek legal counsel: Remember that the law protects the customer and you being the customer have right to taking legal course of action against the real estate developer for the delay in the delivery. It is best to get legal counsel first from a reputable and experienced lawyer dealing with property matters.

Demand refund of your spending due to delay in getting possession: You will probably be staying at a different rented place for the duration till you are getting the flat handed over to you. so, you have every right to demand that the real estate developer pays the rent amount that you have to spend due to non-fulfilment of his promises.

Check out local laws governing real estate properties buy and sale: There might be clauses of completing the project within a stipulated time as promised. If that is the case, you can easily go to the court of law against the action of the real estate developer.

However, before you take any step, it is important that you clarify the situation with the real estate developer. If you check out some of the major residential properties in Kolkata you might see that the real estate developer has helped the owners in lessening the losses and have cooperated and delivered the project at the earliest possible time. In the mean time, if you are stuck in such a situation, check out the 2 bhk apartments in Mankundu developed by Primarc.

Nov 15, 2019

8 Top Fashion Trends for Everyday Wear in 2020

There is an expected comeback of plenty of fashion statements from the early 50s to 90s. From polka dots, doily laces, large prints, voluminous florals, and edgy cuts, as well as outfits inspired by a Filipiniana gown or the traditional barong Tagalog. People are becoming more and more expressive when it comes to the outfit they wear. With that, it is expected to see big puffy sleeves, neon-bright colors, and loud prints strut the streets. Be updated with fashion trend forecasts with this list of some of the everyday-wear trends you must look out for in 2020!

Smock Dresses

Hippie or just plain comfy? These so-called smock-frock or just smock dresses originated in some parts of England and Wales during the 18th century. They are like baby doll dresses with a playful yet feminine silhouette that was worn as an outer garment by rural workers. With the stylish and loose-fitting structure of the dress, it is designed to be suitable for outdoor activities during the warmer seasons. They often come with puffy long or short sleeves.

Sheer Blouses

Looking for something bold and classy at the same time? You are probably looking for a sheer blouse. The sheer blouse look is composed of a bodysuit for the inner garment and a see-through blouse. The colors are often coordinated between the two garments so that it would look like a one-piece of clothing. The outfit is perfect for night outs but also wearables during the day. Some see-through blouses come with large ribbons to cover mostly the frontal area of the look, making it less edgy and more professional-looking. The silhouette of the sheer blouse trend definitely entails feminine.

Military Inspired

Neutral colors like khaki with hints of moss green are becoming trendy because it requires minimal effort to pull off. The beige or khaki-colored clothing is inspired by the colors of the military. They are often worn with silver chains and a pair of plain black or white footwear. Overalls are also worn coordinated with camouflage printed cover-ups. 

Tiered Vêtements

Much like the smock dress, the tiered Vêtements have a flowy, loose-fitting silhouette. It is inspired by flamenco dancers and suited for the warmer weather. The structure of the tiered Vêtements starts with a varied style of top and ruffled midsection layers. They are either a dress or a skirt with distinct features of little ruffled layers. To complete the whole summer look, the tiered Vêtements often come with small floral prints or solid and plain pastel colors.

Rose Prints

Nothing is more “spring” than an item of clothing with voluminous rose prints. Whether the print is located in the middle of the outfit or patterned, the rose prints are foreseen to be new trends coming in the spring of 2020. Another attempt to create a bolder look was a fusion of color blocking and printing details on spring dresses. 

Butterfly Sleeves

Commonly found in filipiniana gowns or the traditional Maria Clara terno, the butterfly sleeves are expected to be used by every woman for special occasions or as everyday wear. The reenvisioned sleeves are made smaller for easier mobility and movement of the shoulders and arms. Gone are the days when they are only worn during the formal meetings in the government because, in 2020, the butterfly sleeves will be seen in corporate attires for women. 

Polka Dots

Different patterns and sizes but the same circular shape. The ladylike staple has always had a resurgence. It is the kind of trend that dies down but resurrects back. The 80s polka dots style reinvigorates the wardrobe with quirkiness and flair. The pattern and design makes a simple cut outfit look dressy. Whether it is in the form of a cutout top or puffed sleeves, the reenvisioned polka dot patterned clothing remains an expected fashion statement in 2020.

Lady Barong

Paired with a skirt, denim jeans, empire-waist slacks, or even shorts, Lady Barong is about to steal the limelight in 2020 as more and more Filipino designers start to reinvent the whole traditional look of the top. The lady barong comes from the modern barong Tagalog meant for the Filipino men. Filipino fashion has recently geared towards celebrating gender inclusivity, thus the creation of the lady barong. 

Key Takeaway

A celebration of individuality and a way to express one’s identity as well as aspirations in life and fashion has always been about the person wearing it. The trend coming into 2020 is nothing less but a continuation of the celebration of women trying to push for a common identity that is closely related to empowerment. Most trends just reinvented traditional trends much like the butterfly sleeves of the Filipiniana gown, the tiered Vêtements as well as the smock dress. Even the prints are reinvented to match the lifestyle and character of women today. 

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