Sep 30, 2010

Nostalgia: In Memoriam of My Mom

Today, September 30th, is the same date with my mother’s funeral. She passed away at September 29th 1999, at a hospital in Jakarta. She had a kidney failure; and had undergone kidney transplantation. My brother, Luki, has given his kidney. The new kidney can make her survive for about eleven years. But then, her condition was getting worse and worse. The picture was taken about two years after my Mom had been operated.

When I miss her, sometimes I write it down on a letter. I have ever posted this letter; but I’ll share it again here, in memoriam of her.

A Letter for Mom
Dear Mom,

Though we can’t meet again, you’re always in my heart and prayers
I do hope to see you in my dreams, but why you’ve never come?

Mom, I love to remember all the times that we spent together
We’ve ever had wonderful times, do we?
Learning to cook in the kitchen, shopping at the market and mall, watching movies at the cinema, or just sitting at the terrace and having a chat…

I have no sister, but I’ve never felt alone; because you’ll always be there as my friend
Didn’t you remember that every time I returned home from school, I always looked for you to tell you all what happened that day…?
and I’ll be disappointed if I found that you weren’t at home…

Mom, didn’t you remember many nights at hospitals that we spent just two of us?
I remembered the night at the hospital when we’re crying together…
I felt so regret that time, why was I so weak and why did I make you cry?
Since then, I’ll always try to be strong for you, I wanted to be your source of strength and I wanted to ease your pain…

Mom, didn’t you remember, on one day before you left us, you said that you felt so tired but you didn’t have the heart to leave us?
Didn’t you remember that then I was leaving you at the hospital room for a while? Actually, I was going out to cry in the front of door… I didn’t want to cry in front of you…

Mom, I remember that in the night, we had to move you to ICU unit, because your condition was getting worse and worse…
I can’t hear your words again; I even can’t remember what your last word was…
Sleepless, I tried to accompany you and kept whispering all prayers on your ear…

When I saw your hard breath, didn’t you remember I was whispering to say that I can let you go, so you can rest in peace?
Mom, did you really heard me because then you released your last breath?

With all my heart and soul, I let you go, Mom. But can’t we meet one day?
Mom, I’m not so good at arranging words, I write this letter for you, because I so miss you this night…

Miss you so much,

Your daughter


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