Nov 5, 2011

Teenage Mums: Perfecting Your Part

Everyone always imagines it differently. They picture the big diamond ring, the wedding, the white picket fence, and kids coming along right at the perfect time. Unfortunately for many, this just isn’t the case. And for a surprising portion of people, it’s because the order gets turned on its head, and the kids decide to come along when they are still kids themselves.

Teenage pregnancy is a big issue in a lot of countries, but at the end of the day, as a family member, you need to come to one conclusion: it’s time to get over it and do your job! You can dwell on the fact that your son or daughter, boyfriend or girlfriend, sister or brother has made a mistake and punish them for it, or you can realise what’s done is done, and they now just need your love and support.

If you’re struggling coming to terms with the pregnancy, consider some aspects of your new role.

Mum and dad – the new grandparents
It’s a tough one, isn’t it mum? This is not what you wanted for your baby – you wanted them to have a childhood, have a chance to go through their wild days, and then one day, when they have a good solid job to fall back on and a great partner, settle down and have kids. You wanted to go shopping with them, pick out their formal dress together and take happy snaps – not buy
maternity wear. Well mum and dad, that’s not how it happened, so now it’s your job to really be there for your terrified and overwhelmed son or daughter. They will need you to financially and emotionally support them, listen, guide, likely attend appointments with them… but most of all, forgive them. Don’t let your child go through their pregnancy thinking you hate them or are disappointed in them. Reinforce to them they are strong and will be a great parent. Show them you have faith in them, and excitedly get involved in the growth of the baby, naming and all the other aspects.

Brothers and sisters
So you think your baby brother or sister has made the mistake of all mistakes and ruined their life. Well, as their big bro or sis it’s not your job to judge, it’s your job to support. Some things are going to be difficult for them to talk to your mum and dad about, and that’s where you come in. You also need to be that person who still treats them normally, has a laugh and makes the experience easier. They’re your little brother or sister – as per your whole life, it’s your job to protect them, help them and be there to pick them up when they fall.

Your job is easy. Don’t abandon your friend! This is the true test of your friendship. No matter what you think of your friend’s situation, they now need you more than ever, so they still have a connection to people their own age, to their social life and to normality.

The boyfriend
So you’re the one who helped her land where she is? You didn’t plan it, didn’t want it to happen, but here you are. Whether or not your relationship works out, your job is to be the primary support for your baby’s mother. If she can’t have a social life anymore, volunteer to stay with her. Keep her comfortable, give her what she needs, and let her cry on your shoulder when it’s all too much. Remember, she is the closest person to feeling the same way you do, let this bond you rather than break you.


2 komentar:

Furchange November 06, 2011  

Very glad if I can write an article in Enlish too...

kalaiselvisblog November 06, 2011  

well said sis... each & everyone should know dis.. lovely post...

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