Jul 22, 2015

Is Your Partner a Man or Just a Boy?

Dedicating yourself and your time to being with somebody means that you will have to make a really important commitment, but before you do that, you should try to look objectively at what sort of man you are dating. Figuring out what your partner is really like and if there is a long and happy future in there for the two of you requires that you really put together all the things that you know about him and analyze them objectively which is not always easy. Here are some of the things that you should pay attention to.

Perfect Woman
One of the worst things that you may have to deal with is the fact that your partner either perceives you as perfect or wants you to be perfect and constantly finds something wrong in the way you do things. This usually means that there is a whole range of issues that stem from his relationship with his mother. You really need to confront this sort of behavior as soon as possible and be ready to end relationship if the situation doesn’t resolve itself. No matter how much you try, if your partner always expects you to be perfect to his imaginary standards, you will never be happy.

Passive Misogyny
If your partner constantly sees you as a weak or powerless pet that constantly needs help and can’t be counted on, he may have issues that go way deeper than just trying to help. While a man will treat you as equal, a boy will constantly look at you as something inferior to help him keep himself feeling good due to feelings of inadequacy. Sooner or later you will have to change something in this sort of relationship before those feelings turn into passive hostility or misogyny.
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Letting People Bully Them
There is a really big difference between a man and a boy when it comes to bullying. While a man will confront this sort of behavior head on, somebody who is still a boy will continuously tolerate such issues without really knowing when is the right time to stand up for himself. Being pushed around or serving as a joke for his friends is not something that you want to be part of. Your partner either needs to become a lot more assertive and regain some confidence or you may end up in a relationship in which you are the only force pushing forward.

Ego Problems
Most men can generally figure out when they are wrong and deal with the fact. Boys can’t, and this often means that any sort of conflict can only end if you admit that you are wrong. For somebody who is not a well-defined person, accepting that they are wrong is simply too much for their ego and in no way will you be able to get through them when they get defensive.
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Communication is essentially the most important part of every relationship and this is of the one of the first things that become a problem if your partner is not a man. Inability to discuss issues and own his own faults will almost certainly lead to problems down the road which neither you nor him can fix. If you can’t talk with your partner and discuss problems that you have, it may be better to find somebody who can. Most boys will never really grow up or try to understand your feelings or communicate their issues which can really drag the relationship down bring a lot of pain.

While there is nothing wrong in being a collector, buying toys and collecting them obsessively is a sure sign that something is wrong. Whether it’s a collection of bobbleheads or numerous expensive cars, you can be sure that there are some problems that your partner is not discussing. No grown up man would invest that much love and attention into dead objects which serve solely as objects under his control.

When you are in love or a long relationship, it can become really hard to look at things properly and define bad sides of your partner but in may be necessary. It is way better to locate the problem early on and work on than to spend a lot of time with somebody just to find out that you are dating a boy and not a grown person.

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